09 Jun People will always fail us
People will always fail us, but GOD is CONSTANT!
This summer when Charles was in the hospital my mind and everything was consumed with getting him healthy and when I could finally catch my breath It was only a week away from when we would normally start our Shine dance.
I had no energy and entertained the thought of putting my girls in a secular dance program ( I am not against this for you, I am talking about me here so please don’t get offended) As I prayed, God reminded me of all the reasons I took my girls out of secular dance.
The music that is tearing down our girls and portraying them as sexual objects and the moves that are much to sexual for a little child to do especially in front of men were only a part of it. The cattiness and comparing I saw when my girls were in dance was not healthy in any way.
God brought me back to my past as I remembered how far I have come. I hated men for a long time because of the life I lived and what I saw and the way I was sexualized. I realize that much of that was because of my actions the industry I was in, but the reality I lived and the way I saw men behaving was honestly just sick.Television and modeling is corrupt to say the least and I never want my girls glorifying fame in any way.
I don’t want my girls to feel sexualized in this way or that their worth is some how caught up in being sexual. I have walked that road and know all to well how easily girls slip into placing their value on their looks. And don’t tell me I am over exaggerating, just look around at our teens and at your friends. You can turn a blind eye and say it’s no big deal but then I challenge you to sit down with 5 teen girls and ask them what they think of themselves. Ask them if they are happy? The answers will shock you.
I felt God challenging me to advertise the Shine Dance classes, so I did and the classes filled within one week and God provided the teachers too. That is our GOD, he always provides.
Well this weekend one of my teachers quit and I was left stranded. I questioned God and why he even let me start this if it was only to fail.( I am embarrassed at my lack of faith.) I felt so badly and my heart hurt because of all these little dancers that had counted on this teacher. They had looked up to her as a mentor and she just left them hanging. It saddened my heart and I couldn’t sleep for 3 days. I didn’t know I explain this to my 13 and 14 year olds after all our talks about integrity and perseverance. I had just sent in their competition fees for SEMF and now their mentor quit on them. The words Kaylani said one time after returning to deeper one year rang in my ears. “ I have learned that leaders always let you down and that they don’t keep their promises” This leader had promised she would come back and wasn’t there because she was out partying instead.
Our actions affect others!!!
I went to God and I cried WHY? I had done everything to prevent this. I had written up my expectations at the beginning on the year , I had many meetings to cast the vision. I even met with this teacher individually to mentor her and then this.
As I prayed God whispered” I will Provide” I have something better planned” He told me not to worry. He told me that People will always, always let me down but that he never would!! He told me that when he makes a promise and people fail me he will provide. What a beautiful promise.
AND I FINALLY GOT IT!!!
This last year this has been my lesson and this last encounter I finally got it!! This was one of my hardest lessons I have ever had to learn. And It has been hard. I have had more hurts this year, more betrayal and rejection then I could have ever imagined. So many times I have just wanted to quit. To close the studio, to stop caring so much and retreat into being a homeschooling mom and never go out. To crawl into my safe little home and disengage from life. But I choose to keep getting back up again and again. And boy am I ever thankful, because guess what? God promises to pay everything back that was stolen and double it!! God promises if you persevere he will reward you.
So if you have been hurt and if people have back stabbed you in the back and betrayed you remember that God never will.
God is constant, keep clinging to him and don’t give up.
He has your back.