08 Jun How to do a coffee enema
- organic, caffeinated coffee
- filtered, distilled, or pure spring water — do not use tap water without boiling it!
- a vessel to boil water in — stainless or glass is my preference
- a glass, 1-quart measuring cup, such as Pyrex
- a fine mesh sieve
- an enema kit
Pour half of the coffee concentrate into a glass, 1-quart Pyrex, add cold water to equal 1 quart. Make sure it’s not too hot. If you can’t comfortably hold your finger in the coffee enema mixture, it’s too hot to go up your bum.
Fill the enema bag with this first quart of 2 cups coffee + 2 cups water.
Lubricate the tip of the enema kit with coconut oil, insert it, release the clamp, and let the coffee slowly flow in. Retain 10 minutes and eliminate.
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Pour the other half of the coffee concentrate into the glass, 1-quart Pyrex, and repeat the whole process for coffee enema #2.
If you’re trying to do the math on all this — I use 3 tablespoons of coffee to 2 quarts of water.
I worked my way up to this amount, and I find it to be very effective and safe.
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I am very, very sensitive to caffeine and haven’t had a drink of coffee in five years, yet I do not get jittery or crazy from the coffee enemas. Coffee and I parted company the traditional way a long time ago.
9 Tips for Coffee Enema Success
#1 — Do your coffee enema after you’ve had a snack or meal with protein. The best time of day for me is right after I’ve had lunch, around 1:00 p.m.
#2 — Your enema liquid should be neither too hot nor too cold. Too hot, and you risk burning yourself or the inside of your colon. Ouch. Too cold, and it can be very difficult to retain and may cause cramping.
If you can’t comfortably hold your finger in the coffee + water mix, it’s too hot to go up your bum.
#3 — Remove all air from the enema hose. After you fill the enema bag with coffee, release the valve and allow the coffee to flow out and come out the end of the hose first. Then the lines are all clear and you won’t get an uncomfortable air bubble.
#4 — Lay on your right side during the enema. The coffee travels up the transverse colon (on your left side) and to the portal vein of the liver/gallbladder (on the right side).
#5 — Massage your tummy if you feel any cramping. Cramping is almost always caused by gas built up in the large intestine or air from the enema tube. Rolling on to your back or to your left side will often alleviate the cramping, as will a light tummy massage. Alternatively, closing your eyes and doing some deep breathing can really help to calm the urges to go before your 10 minutes are up — and also for making it through waves of nausea (because they sometimes happen).
Of course, don’t force yourself to hold the enema in if you become too uncomfortable! Just get up and go!
#6 — You may hear or feel a gurgle under the upper right side of your rib cage. This is good! That is your gallbladder releasing a big squirt of bile — and a sign that the coffee enema has dilated the portal vein and is doing its job.
#7 — Get comfortable! You’re going to be on your bathroom floor for around 45 to 60 minutes. I like to read a book or watch Netflix on my iPad during my coffee enema. You may like to lay down and enjoy the quiet, listen to an audio book, or meditate. How you spend your 15-60 minutes is totally up to you!
#8 — Sometimes leaks happen; use an old towel under yourself. If I said leaks never happen, I’d be lying. So be prepared with a towel underneath you. Some folks like to lie in their bathtubs. This is fine, but it’s not for me as I am most comfortable when I can be totally flat on my right side. Just be near your toilet!
#9 — Drink plenty of water after your enema and have another light snack. Facilitate further detox by adding a pinch of salt and lemon juice to your water and also to keep your electrolytes balanced.